This morning as I gave 31pound Joshua a piggyback ride it occurred to me that I was in no pain at all. I couldn’t help but smiling as I was reminded of my healing. How easy it is to forget what God has done for us:
From the birth of my daughter in 99 to the birth of my son in 02 I suffered from chronic pain caused by adhesions. The severe pain crept into all daily activities. A cough or a sneeze would bring tears to my eyes. To lift my children was merely a dream. The surgery I had to correct the problem resulted only in one less ovary and more pain. The surprise conception of our third child worried me. How would this pregnancy be carried out with all my organs twisted and attached? Would I tear apart? Would the pain be unbearable? I did and it was. With each month my growing belly brought with it growing suffering. I called my OBGYN on numerous occasions telling him I felt as if I was ripping in two. He assured me things would be ok; it was merely “Braxton Hicks”. I in turn assured him he was wrong. Finally the cesarean was scheduled, I had done much research on various surgical techniques to correct and prevent adhesions. I took that info to my doctor and we discussed it again on the day of surgery. We looked over my material as he explained how after the baby was delivered he would then take the opportunity to separate any attached areas and then use the proper material to prevent them from forming again. We both knew there were no guarantees it would work. After my planned cesarean quickly turning into an emergency one the drama subsided and they carried my precious baby to the nursery. As I regained consciousness the dr. announced to me he would begin the lysis of adheshions. “Wait a minute!” he declared. Apparently I had been right, I had been ripping apart throughout the pregnancy and in fact the 9 months of doing so had allowed the scars to heal properly. There was no need for the procedure we had discussed.
My surprise pregnancy had healed me and with much more promise than any surgery could. On my two-week post partum checkup I felt better than I had at any time in the previous 3 years. I was cautious to get too excited; what if the adhesions would return? As I continued to heal from the cesarean I began to feel a freedom I hadn’t felt in years. Months went by and my concerns disappeared. In fact I had forgotten all about the pain I had once felt. Until one day while talking to some friends I let out a sneeze. As I accepted the round of “bless you” I realized I didn’t have to hide any tears. My sneeze had been just that “a sneeze” it wasn’t a prelude to knives plunging through my abdomen it was merely a sneeze. That sneeze excited me so much! I couldn’t believe I had forgotten and not appreciated the healing. The day-to-day life of running errands and wiping noses had hidden the fact that I felt no pain. It is so easy to forget the pain that consumes you when it is no longer there. I vowed not to forget again. But I did, that was over two years ago.
This morning as I effortlessly lifted my son to my back I was reminded again. Reminded of how precious it is to lift my child into the air. Thank you God for the healing, and thank you for the little boy you used to do it!
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