Oh the joys of calling customer service. I’ve endured many struggles in the past. Like the time it took me being on hold for hours on end day after day for more than two months to cancel a certain internet service provider. Or the epic battle with my insurance company where I had to prove that I in fact was now and alway had been a female so they would cover child birth. They were sure I was either committing gender fraud or had at one time had a sex change so they refused to pay for any female related charges.

I’ve learned when calling any form of customer service to document all conversation. Not only does it help in further disputes but it keeps me sane. I’ve even considered recording all conversations. I could start it out by informing them the call is being recorded for quality assurance purposes.

Today my mission is to cancel XM Radio Service.

I will take you on my journey:
11:20 AM 3-9-07 Call to Cancel
Automated Answer

11:25AM 3-9-07
Put on hold, (I’m sure my call is very “important” to them, it shouldn’t take too long)

11:30 still on hold- jazz music playing.

11:32 I realize I can use the ear piece and move about the house.
-Cleanse and moisturize face
- Lose glasses
- Look for glasses
-Find glasses on my head.

11:35 Music stops, silence.
I wait…

11:36 Brian answers. Before I’m able to open my mouth he says he is sorry to inform me but they are experiencing problems with their system and if I would like to call back in two hours they would be more than happy to assist me.

11:37 I hang up, they may have won this round but I’ll be back…

Not too bad so far…we shall see how this one plays out.

UPDATE:

2 hours later:
1:36 Called Kaitlyn Xm’s automated attendent
“Beyond AM beyond Fm…XM Radio”
I forgo options and try hitting 0…it works
‘Listener care reps are currently caring for other listeners…please hold and your call will be…”

1:37 on hold

1:39 silence…

1:40 Melissa (real person) answers. I give her my account #
…waiting…silence…waiting…

1:42 She speaks

Melissa asks for my name, can’t find account, repeats account # to me. No, thats not it; I repeat account # slowly. She finds it. Various random questions confirming information. Most information is old, she’s fine with that and makes no effort to change it.

Melissa asks why I’m calling, I tell her I want to cancel service, she kindly asks why, I kindly explain.

1:44 she transfers me to the cancelation department…
On Hold- Swing Music…

1:48…Various XM ads and info…your call will be answered in the order in which it was received…

1:49 Tom answers an reverifies info.

Very Friendly, asks why I want to cancel, I explain we just don’t use it very often anymore. Offers 2 free months, I say thanks but I’d really like to go ahead and cancel. He says perhaps I should take advantage of 3 free months and asks if I like the service. I adsure him I do like the service and that I am aware of the various genres but I would like to go ahead and cancel. He assures me all I will need to do to cancel would be to call in three months I explain how despite his great service I have already spent 30 minutes today trying to disconnect this time so I’d better get it done now, especially since I’ve already been putting it off for 6 months.

1:53 service cancelled.

Not too bad XM. I accomplished my goal in only 2 phone calls and at no time did I feel like weeping. I’ll give them a low A.

That only took 34 minutes, Man! I should have taken the 3 free months, it would have been worth another 3o minutes to me. Do you think I should call Tom back?

Oh, and on another note, does anyone want to buy my radio?